Can't Find Your Passion? Good!
Every "great" motivational speaker (typically a millionaire, or a top sportsman/sportswoman) always gives the WORST career advice ever at the end of their speech: “Follow your Passion”
Remember back when you were a kid? You would just do stuff. You never thought to yourself, “What are the relative merits of learning baseball versus football?” You just ran around the playground and played baseball and football.
You were not afraid to be bad at something. You did not learn the theory behind the trajectory of the round objects travelling in the gravitational field. You did not start with a course to play football. You just did it.
You built sand castles. Climbed trees. Played tag. Asked silly questions. Looked for bugs. Played a role of a cashier or a parent. Asked a neighbour why his child is in a wheelchair. Communicated with kids who didn’t speak your language. Nobody told you to do it. Nobody trained you to do it. You just did it. And it worked. You got better at the things you enjoyed. You let curiosity lead you. You allowed yourself to be excited to try things out.
If you didn’t like kicking the ball into a square, you simply stopped playing it. If you didn’t like video games, you went outside more. There was no guilt involved. There was no arguing or debate. You either liked it or you didn’t. That’s it. There was no second-level analysis. If nobody else wanted to build sand castles or play with LEGOs, it did not mean there’s something wrong with you. If you liked something, you just did it.
Follow Your Passion?
This is probably the worst advice you can ever get.
The Harsh Truth: The more “exciting” something is, and the lower barriers for entry to the profession, the harder it is to be successful.
If you want to be a footballer, an actress, a model, a painter, a writer, a coach, work in nightclubs, hospitality, fashion, or do any other profession that sounds cool? That’s fine. But since others also want to pursue them, and those areas require no formal qualifications you would need to be at least in the top 0.01% to be successful.
In reality, the “creative professionals” have >90% unemployment rates. In countries like the US, most of people who “follow their passions” make less than $22,000 per year.
Every motivational speaker (typically a millionaire or a top sportsman/sportswoman) always gives the WORST career advice ever at the end of their speech: “Follow your Passion”.
Unfortunately, you rarely get to hear stories of the thousands of others who didn’t make it.
Have you ever heard to “follow your passions” someone who is not already very rich and successful? No? Why do you think that is? In fact, if you dig deeper into the stories of those who tell you to follow your dreams, they either inherited their first millions together with an impressive network (such as E. Musk) or made their first millions in a very dispassionate industry - like mining, smelting or writing software.
Not every passion can be turned into making a living out of it. Unless, you are really good at it.
How to find what you are naturally good at, what you enjoy doing, and what you can make your living off?
How do I find my passion?
Well… you don’t!
People tell me, every single day, that they are struggling to find their life’s purpose. And the questions about how to find their “thing” is among the most frequently asked ones. I never respond. I never give that advice.
Why?
Because I have no idea. If you don’t do not know what to do with yourself, what makes you think I would?
But there is a deeper reason for my approach: It is okay not to know.
In reality, all of your life is like this. All of it. 100%. Certainty is an illusion.
The fastest way to find out if something is working for you, is to try it. Learn to start doing and proceed without certainty. Real life does not come with trial periods or money back guarantees. There is no GPS for your private journey through life.
Trying this out does not require you to quit your job, lose your sources of income, and risk everything you currently care about.
You are the only person writing your own story. There are no recipes or manuals for your life. You don’t know the ending. You may spend years planning, theorising of preparing… but until you take the first step, it’s just a mere speculation.
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
Will it get easier?
Hell, no.
It’s not going to get any easier just because you found out that you love sending corporate emails to people who are trying to backstab you.
The harsh truth: You have most likely already found your passion. You have just ignored it.
You’re awake for at least 16 hours a day… What do you do with your time? You must be interested in something. Talking about something. Thinking about something. Dreaming about something. There’s some topic or activity or idea that takes a significant amount of your free time. Your TikTok algorithm probably already knows what it is. But you are still not self-aware enough.
Your “thing” is right there in front of you, you’re just avoiding it for some reason. Maybe you think others will laugh? Maybe you believe there is no money in it? Maybe you tell yourself that it’s not what your parents would want? Perhaps you believe you would lose social status? Or your life would need to change…
What you are not doing… is doing it. Or at least trying.
Like you did when you were 4 years old.
The problem is NOT the lack of passion…
The problem is productivity.
The problem is perception.
The problem is acceptance.
The problem isn’t passion. It’s never passion.
It’s priorities.
Why do you think you need to make money? Why do you think you are entitled to feel good about every second of your job? What is wrong with working in a “normal” job, and then pursuing your passion in your free time?
Every job sucks sometimes. You will get eventually tired of any exciting activity. You will always get frustrated about your job, no matter how much you like it.
Ideals do not exist. I like some aspects of my job. And hate others. This is just how life is.
The real issue: your expectations and your beliefs.
If you think you’re supposed to be working 80-hours weeks and love every second of it, perhaps it is time to cancel your Netflix subscription, because life is not a movie.
If you think you’re supposed to wake up every single day feeling great because you get to go to work, then you need to delete your Instagram account.
If you think that your relationship must be exciting and that you partner must be meeting your needs, perhaps you need to ditch the friend who poisoned your mind with a fairytale.
Your passion is made, not found
I have been trying to build my own business for a long time.Things don’t always work. But there are elements of it that I love. Sometimes I wake up early before my day job and read and write about human brains, health and behaviours. Other times, I am losing myself working on my passions late into the night, until my wife yells at me gently reminds me to turn the lights off.
I am clear what my passions are. But many people are ignoring them. People seem to be afraid to just start doing things that make them forget that they need to sleep or eat.
Harsh truth: If you have to look for what you’re passionate about, then you’re probably not passionate about it in the first place.
If you’re passionate about something, it will already feel like such an ingrained part of your life that you will have to be reminded by people that it’s not normal, that other people aren’t like that.
I am really, really good at solving problems. I do it automatically without any effort. Some people can effortlessly write. Others can count. Or write code. Or dance. Or sing. Or speak publicly. Everyone has something that is natural and easy for them, while others find the same thing hard to mater.
A child does not walk onto a playground and say to herself, “How do I find fun?” She just goes and has fun.
If you have to look for what you enjoy in life, then you’re not going to enjoy anything.
And the real truth is that you already enjoy something. You already enjoy many things. You’re just choosing to ignore them.
Start paying attention. Find out what you are good at.
And keep developing it.
It is worth it!