Life lessons
Collection of random thoughts and observations I have collected in the last 3 decades. Some are "politically incorrect". Most appear to work in real life. It's updated often.
Years in the emergency rooms in hospitals taught me that your lifetime is limited. Do not do anything that can harm or hurt your body and health. By the same logic - do not do anything illegal or anything that can result in jail time. You will throw away a significant part of your lifetime
I learn from mistakes of people who took my advice.
- M. D. Zatonski
Media (TV, Press, Social Media) are a total waste of time; you will miss absolutely nothing when you stop following the news or endless feeds. You will remain informed of everything that matters to you or your work - usually through other people. It will also improve your mental wellbeing.
Everything good in life comes from compounded interest.
Any promise of getting something you want fast (money, wealth, status, knowledge, weight loss goal, health, etc) - is a scam designed to take money off of you.
Stick to people who share those two qualities: High intelligence and high integrity. Everything else is a noise.
There is no such thing as “business skills” or “emotional intelligence” - the concepts have been made up relatively recently and are poorly rooted in evidence.
>95% of time spent in meetings is wasted.
Schools teach replaceable and generic skills at best (with the possible exception of mathematics and foreign languages).
If you want to study something, focus on mathematics (including statistics and probability), game theory, logic, critical thinking and ethics. Those skills apply to everything in life and will teach you how to think and act.
“Applied Mathematics” Reading and writing are probably two of the most undervalued activities you can engage in.
If you have no ideas - read. If you have been reading and now have some new ideas, but you struggle to clearly articulate them - write. If you have the clarity - execute and build.
“Good judgment” requires significant expertise, but learning and understanding rudimentary foundations in any area (which is fast and easy) will rapidly increase your chances of making better judgements.
5% better judgment than the person sitting next to you makes a huge difference in the long run - to yourself or to your business.
Reading is much, much, much faster than listening or watching.
If you want to distinguish between a chemical engineer and a plumber ask them to pronounce “unionise”.
Despite what others might want you to believe, we are not all equal. We vary in height, strength, appearance, intelligence, talents, etc.
A gem can not be polished without friction.
~Seneca
You can improve in any area with sufficient effort, but some people are “natural” at certain things.
Find your “natural” skillset. It will be effortless to you but will look like hard work to others.
When hiring people focus only on choosing people with high IQ (intelligence), high conscientiousness, and high integrity. Everything else is a distraction.
Happiness
Happiness is a learned skill.
Feelings are 100% internal. There are no external factors affecting your feelings, regardless of how strongly you believe they do.
Surround yourself with diverse people. Diversity in this context means varied experiences, viewpoints, skills, mindsets, etc. Various external or genetic attributes are not the correct targets for diversity.
Most of psychotherapy is a scam and is completely unhelpful.
Most human suffering comes from 2 sources: 1) inability to deal with the objective reality; 2) inability to define the direction where they should be going towards in life.
Being poor is not having too little, it is wanting more.
~Seneca
You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything. True power is being guided by logic, not feelings.
Be restrained, rather than “triggered”. If words control you - everyone can control you.
Never base your happiness on anything (or anyone) you might someday lose.
Things that matter
Mentally strong people only do nice things to those who treat them with respect.
Society has most of the priorities wrong and typically gives credit to the wrong groups of people.
Footballers, actors or politicians bring very little to humanity (if anything at all).
Scientists probably added more to society than any other group of people ever. Without science, we would be still poking beehives and ant nests for food.
Three very important things in your life are: where you live, who are you living with, and what you do. Spend a lot of time deciding on those things.
Writing things down (journaling) provides incredible clarity of thought, and can replace any need for psychotherapy for most people.
New experience you can have always beats a new thing you can buy.
Keep your standards high, and your expectations low.
Internet
Google.com does not work like it used to. Nowadays, most of the search results are pre-filtered, curated, restricted and designed to serve you ads and content determined by the advertising algorithms.
Most valuable and useful things on the internet are no longer free. It used to be the case, but it is not anymore.
There are some valuable open-source communities and resources online - but you must learn how to find and access them.
Intentions, effort, letting go
Intentions matter, but only if they are behind an action. Action (with the wrong intentions) is just as bad as great intentions without following actions.
The moment you realise that something is a waste of time - drop it immediately.
If you find something that entertains you, but you know from the start that you will get bored with it someday - it is a distraction. Drop it quickly.
Do not do anything that could cause you to lose your capital/assets.
Learn the difference between calculated risk and gambling.
“If you want it done, then go. If you don’t, then send.”
- Julius Cesar
Personally attend to everything you care about. Outsource everything else.
We stand on the shoulders of others. “Self-made success” is an illusion - there are always other people and capital (and some luck) behind any success. If you make it - pay back to those who made it possible.
Money helps a lot. It gives you freedom, and security and solves most external problems in your life.
Don’t give money away easily.
Do not spend time to save money. Save time instead.
There exists an objective reality, which is independent of what others feel, think, wish or believe. Learn to identify and see objective reality. Most people can not.
You need time to think. Plan days with absolutely nothing to do. This includes no distractions (phones, media, friends).
Don’t identify with anything. Any set of beliefs you identify with is suspicious.
Most virtuous and moral thing to do is to learn to change your own opinions and view based on new evidence.
Read as much as you can. Read classics too: Aristotle, Plato, Seneca, Aurelius, Darwin, Smith, etc.)
Cut distractions to improve your mental and physical well-being.
Walking or journalling is at least as effective as meditation.
If you want to (or feel you need to) meditate, do it in bed before going to sleep. Breathing regularly and decluttering your thoughts will help you fall asleep.
Take frequent breaks. From everything. Ideally every 1 hour.
Doctors will not make you healthy. TokTok’ers will not make you feel valued. Teachers will not make your kids smart. Personal Trainers will not make you lose weight. See the pattern?
How you look, think, feel, how quickly you lose or gain weight, how tall you are, how smart you are, what talents you have, how healthy you are, and many other things are most likely largely dependent on your DNA. Accept it.
Walking can be all the exercise you need. If it’s not enough - walk with a sand-filled backpack.
On Food and Exercise
Virtually all dietary supplements, vitamins, protein powders, etc. have virtually zero benefits for most people.
Proteins are overrated. Protein powders are not healthy or useful for most people, with the exception of elite athletes under medical and nutritional supervision, or for fragile/elderly people. Most of the added protein will be converted into sugars and stored as fat in your body.
Fibre is underrated. Most people have very limited intake of fibre. Eat a variety of plants, mushrooms, nuts and seeds.
Most of the nutritional science is very weak, and the majority of nutritional advice is bullshit (for most people).
You need water to live, but hardly anyone is actually dehydrated. Drink water, tea or coffee when you are thirsty and you will be fine. The stupid concept of “needing more hydration” started when Coca-Cola. Later, Nestle started to commercialise tap water.
Avoid all foods and drinks that have ingredients on the label that you do not have in your kitchen.
“You can not outrun a doughnut”
- M. D. Zatonski
Things to teach your children
Don’t lend money to your family. Give it.
Never insult the cooking when you are the guest.
Never eat the last piece of something you didn't buy.
Never make the first offer in a negotiation.
Don't take credit for work you didn't do.
If you are not invited, don't ask to go.
Always aim for the head. If impossible - neck.
Don't beg for a relationship.
Always carry and pay cash. Use cash as much as possible. If you spend £20 at a grocer, he can use the same banknote to pay his hairdresser. Hairdresser can use the same £20 to pay his doctor, etc. After 50 transactions, someone still has £20. If you make a chain of 50 transactions by debit card, most of the money will be gone, as there will be 50 transactions fees taken by banks.
Avoid placing your phone on the dinner table.
Never pose with alcohol.
Use of proper grammar is a proxy for education. This is how many people make judgments about how clever you are.
Speak honestly. Say what you mean, directly, and mean what you say.